Staff writer Jenn here! I’m always down to overshare about my love life, and what better occasion than with Valentine’s Day around the corner? But instead of yapping about flaky suitors, situationship culture and all the other shenanigans that come with the territory of being a single girlie in this day and age,  I’m dishing out the deets on how being alone and going boy sober—a TikTok trend all about abstaining from dating—made me believe in love again.

I’m a hopeless romantic. I also decided to stop searching for romance to find love again. Confused? Let me explain.

The “Boy Sober” trend, a term coined by comedian Hope Woodard, advises folks to give up dating to reevaluate their own dating habits. “A big part of the year-long break from sex and romance is unlearning the unhealthy relationship patterns that often get passed down from generation to generation” Marisa Charpentier writes for The New York Times.

Until this year, I was a serial dater. If I wasn’t in a relationship, I was always keeping an eye out for one. Because I was always searching, I found myself settling for anything that resembled a glimmer of romance. So what if my date left me at 2 a.m. He kissed me on the forehead before he dipped, so that must mean he likes me! I wanted to be loved so badly that I was willing to justify any half-baked attempts at connection—I was convinced that it was better than nothing.

Placing love into the hands of strangers and watching them be reckless with it impacted how I viewed myself. If someone could treat me like an afterthought, that must mean I’m not worthy of feeling special or desired, right? Wrong. I soon realized my conquest for romance impacted my self-confidence and knew something needed to be done.

In an attempt to show myself the grandest act of love to this date, I deleted my apps, turned off my “Omg is that hot person checking me out?” radar, and tossed in the towel on looking for love externally. Instead, I got my fix of romance by defining what constitutes love (spoiler alert: it’s not booty calls from randoms on the internet) and surrounding myself with it.

I took myself out on solo coffee dates but also buckled down with a therapist and started to unpack where my initial idea of love stems from and how it influenced my being—something I couldn’t do while distracting myself with men. I learned that people were placeholders for self-love, a department I was lacking in. I wasn’t ready for it because I didn’t think I was worthy of it, but it was more palatable to blame it on a person than get real with myself and the preexisting notions in my head.

I’m still very much on this journey. Every day I’m redefining what love and romance look like to me, and it’s been refreshing to decenter external influences. It’s still difficult, I’m human, and sometimes there's no alternative to the comfort of having someone to snuggle with on cold nights. But until I find someone, I don't need to wait or be deprived of romance and will be giving that love to myself instead.

We weigh the pros and cons of what we put in our bodies on a daily basis: organic apples or ones with GMOs? Free-range eggs or pasture-raised eggs? Natural sugar or refined? But we rarely think about the types of water—and the filtration systems—that are out there. 🚰

You may be thinking, “Nah, tap is fine for me!” but did you know unfiltered water can contain lead, mercury and other chemicals that are undetectable to the natural eye? And that it can also lead to health issues like stomach pain and headaches? Yuck!

That’s why you should make the switch to LifeStraw Home Dispenser, the water filtration system that tackles the toughest tap water contaminants, including bacteria, microplastics and PFAS, all while providing you the crisp taste of water you know and love. And not only does this system do good for you, but it’s also good for others with LifeStraw’s mission being to bring safe water to children worldwide with every purchase.

Now that’s refreshing. 💧 Get 20% off with code GIRLBOSS20. 

Hey! Got a forward from a friend? Click here to make it official and subscribe to our next one. 

🤦‍♀️ WTF is a “dinner and couch” friend???

📺 Are you on your 10th rewatch of Sex and the City? Here’s why that’s good for you.

🤫 Before you open this, make sure your boss isn’t around.

🍀 777. If you’re reading this, it’s a sign.

🙅‍♀️ Are we over the mob wife trend?

Age-Response Compound K Hyaluronic Booster, Venn Skincare, $135

“Whew, that’s a lengthy name, hey? That’s because this isn’t your average serum, it’s jam-packed with five types of different hyaluronic acids (along with vitamin B, niacinamide and and other goodies that keep you glowing) that will do more than hydrate your skin from the inside out but also repair its barrier. Simply put? This serum helps with evenness, hydration and elasticity—making it the perfect addition to your skincare routine.” — Jennifer, staff writer

Be Mine Set, Clementine Sleepwear, $260

“A bouquet of red roses? Out. A trio of luxury sleep accessories made from organic mulberry silk? So in. There is nothing I want more than getting some restorative shut-eye, and this silk pillowcase, oversized scrunchie and eye mask—in the prettiest pink shades—are part of my nightly bedtime routine. I love that all of Clementine Sleepwear’s products are free from chemical washes, pesticides and microplastic blends, too. This set is an investment—but isn’t your bestie worth splurging on?” — Victoria, senior writer

Explorer Pants, On-Running, $189.99

“I am wearing these pants as I write this. I wore them yesterday and it’s a pretty safe bet that I’ll wear them again tomorrow.  What can I say? My style got quite gorp-y over the pandemic. These hiking pants are so lightweight, have a sleek, street-wear-y silhouette, and feature tons of useful pockets without looking like cargo pants. I wear them to travel, run errands, go on long walks and winter hikes. And I just learned they’re apparently water-resistant to boot! More reason to basically never take them off.” — Liz, general manager

Before you put your Slack on DND and slam your laptop shut until Monday, we wanted to help you start your weekend off right. Here, you’ll find your weekly dose of feel-good inspiration. ✨

✍️ Journal prompt: Create your personal mission statement.

 💬 Quote we’re loving: “I know love is real because I exist and I am full of it.” — Unknown

✉️ Friendly reminder: Instead of spending the entire weekend bed rotting or scrolling through TikTok, get some fresh air! Might we suggest going on a hot girl walk and popping on your favorite podcast? Or channeling your inner kid and going sledding? 🛷

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